Punch Drunk

Pairing: Jack O'Neill/Daniel Jackson
 
Category: First Kiss, Off-World, Sex Pollen, Intoxication, Humor, Groping
 
Rating: PG13
 
Summary: A drunk Jack is a fun Jack? Depends on who you ask *eg*
 
Notes: Please, this is a sillyfic. I know perfectly well that Janet would not handle things this way. Bear with me, it's not like I'm writing a manual on medical emergencies, okay?
 
Thanks to Nicci for putting up with this in chunks and pieces *g*

The call came through the 'gate at 9PM. Not that Daniel knew about it at that point, because he had been buried in an ancient tome about cultural behavior on PX-355. Fascinating stuff, standard procedure at trades with these people meant two hours of mindless chit-chat, that had to be carried out as anything but mindless.

No, the call for one Dr. Daniel Jackson did not come in until 11PM.

A clearing of throat had Daniel reluctantly looking up.

"Sir?" Daniel quickly stood as General Hammond stepped into his office.

"Dr. Jackson," Hammond greeted. Closing the door, he went to stand in front of Daniel's desk. "Is any of this of life saving importance?"

Daniel blinked owlishly. "Eh..."

"I mean, is there any of this that can't be postponed?"

Daniel shook his head. 'Here we go again,' he thought to himself. Whenever he found the time and opportunity to work on his backlog, something else, 'more important', would turn up and screw it all up.

"I have a rather... important case..." Hammond cleared his throat again. "It's about Colonel O'Neill."

"Jack?!" Daniel quickly forgot his work at the mention of his friend's name. "Is he...?"

"He's... okay," Hammond admitted reluctantly. "We hope."

"What's happened?" Daniel asked, steadying his trembling hand against his work table.

"It seems the Colonel met some flora/fauna hybrid on PX-53X, some hours ago, that took some kind of offense to him and attacked him."

Daniel could understand how that could happen. He sometimes felt the same. Still, if Jack was hurt... "Is he...?"

"He's fine as far as Dr. Frasier can tell, but he won't let her examine him closer and we can't bring him back to the SGC until we know what's wrong and..." Hammond trailed off as if there was something he was reluctant to bring up.

"What does this have to do with me?" Daniel asked worriedly. "My doctorates aren't of the medical kind," Daniel continued, knowing even if they had been, he'd never be as ...efficient as Janet. Especially when it came to Jack, he simple was not scary enough.

Hammond chuckled. "No, the problem is that whatever the thing had in its saliva, when it bit the Colonel, it seems to act as strong alcohol."

"So, the problem is...?" Daniel prompted.

"To get the Colonel to allow the good doctor to examine him... and he's acting very drunk." Hammond sighed. "He and Teal'c escorted SG-12 to do some research and the team is back, but Teal'c stayed with the Colonel. Colonel O'Neill was getting..." Hammond stalled. "I believe what Colonel Harrington said was: 'Dangerously close to a court martial'."

Daniel's eyes widened.

"Harrington also said that if he had to listen to the Colonel much longer, they'd have to court martial him as well for a mercy killing."

"Oh dear... normally Jack can handle his liquor."

"This is an unknown substance," Hammond warned. "It simply makes the Colonel act as if he's drunk an unusual amount of alcohol."

"I still don't..." Daniel began.

Hammond held up his hand. "Off the record Dr... Daniel, I can't ask and you can't tell, but whatever you boys get up to on your own time, is none of my business, but we all know that no one but you can put a damper on the man when he's being... unreasonable."

Daniel blinked rapidly. What on earth was the man talking about?

"In other words, Doctor. I need you to go to PX-53X and save whatever is left of my 2iC's tattered reputation," Hammond said with a sigh. "I thank God, that Teal'c is first and foremost loyal to the Colonel," he muttered.

Daniel wasn't sure he wanted to know why.

"I'll... go change and get my gear," Daniel said, knowing better than dawdling when Jack was in ...trouble.

"You do that, Dr. Jackson," Hammond agreed, looking a little too relieved for Daniels liking.

And through such coincidence, Dr. Daniel Jackson found himself walking through the Stargate half an hour later.

The first thing that greeted him was one very pissed of Janet Frasier.

"It's about time," she grumped at him. "I'm sick and tired of running around, trying to catch the Colonel."

"Couldn't you just get Teal'c to hold him?" Daniel asked as he followed her between the trees surrounding the dais with the Stargate. Trees. Jack had to love that too, Daniel thought to himself. Trees. A lot of them.

"I would, but Teal'c is refusing. I could've sworn he was muttering something about not wanting to get groped again."

Daniel's eyebrows went up. He couldn't imagine not wanting to be groped by one specific AF Colonel. But that was him. Teal'c probably did not harbor the kind of fantasies that Daniel did. Which was probably a good thing.

"I'm not doing it!" The voice was loud, annoyed and horribly familiar. "Tell them to go away, T. I don't want to talk to anyone but Daniel, damn it."

Daniel and Janet exchanged worried looks and hurried along the path. They found more than just Jack and Teal'c when they reached the clearing.

Four very seriously looking men were obviously trying to communicate, but Teal'c didn't seem to understand them and Jack looked like a stiff breeze could topple him. Swaying a little on his feet, Jack turned, catching sight of them. Daniel was glad that Jack was no longer armed, as the man broke into a huge grin, waved his arms wildly, and staggered toward Daniel.

"Daniel, Danny, Dannyboy, Babe!"

Daniel wondered if now might be the appropriate moment to run -- in the opposite direction. "Eh... Jack?" was all he got out before Jack tackled him, resulting in Daniel on his back, pushed down into the soft ground by one damned heavy, amorous and wriggling Colonel.

"Jack..." Daniel tried to reason with the other man, but it took Teal'c dragging him off before Daniel could breathe again.

"But Daniel," whined Jack. "Don't you love me anymore?" Jack looked like the poster child for pure misery, as he stood, or nearly hung, from the grip Teal'c had on the scruff of his neck.

Teal'c looked as if he was ready to forget his loyalty to Jack and on some level Daniel understood that. A drunk Jack was rarely easy to handle and it looked like whatever had hit him, was more potent than what Jack was used to.

Daniel shook his head and turned to the men, who were waiting patiently. First contact had to be easier to handle than a drunk, affectionate Jack O'Neill.

"Excuse me," Daniel began.

One of the men, the oldest, wearing a light-grey robe, said something and Daniel frowned. It sounded like a mixture of Norse languages. Trying for Norwegian, Daniel said: "We are peaceful explorers from the planet Earth. We mean you no harm."

The man frowned and exchanged a few words with one of the others. 'Huh,' Daniel thought to himself. There was a smattering of German or... no, more like Dutch. With a rather peculiar rhythm to it...

"DanielJackson?"

Daniel held up his hand. Turning to the men, he repeated his words as well as he could, using what he hoped was an understandable language.

The man frowned again, then lit up and answered.

"Daniel?" Janet came to his side.

"I think they're greeting us and the man said something about me having a thick accent... well either that or they just told us we're being sacrificed tonight."

"Daniel, I realize that you'd like to talk to them, but I really need the Colonel calm." They both looked at Jack who was squirming in Teal'c's grip, mumbling against the hand covering his mouth.

Daniel nodded at Teal'c, who removed his hand from Jack's mouth. The huge Jaffa looked at his damp palm with resignation.

"Danny, he's looking at ya funny," Jack grumbled, looking like a little kid in Teal'c's arms.

"Huh?" Daniel had no idea what Jack was talking about. Not that it was a new thing. He found himself in that situation quite often.

"He wants you," Jack elaborated in a low muttered voice.

"What are you babbling about?" Daniel asked, wondering where Jack got his delusions from. Then again, he was acting as if he was drunk.

"He wants to get into your pants," Jack clarified in a theatrical whisper. "Everyone wants to get into your pants, I..." Teal'c's palm covered his mouth once again.

Someone tugged at Daniel's sleeve. Turning around, he found the older man pointing toward Jack.

"Bitten?" he asked.

Daniel hesitated a moment, then nodded.

"We have a remedy for these bites, but we need to go back to our village," the man explained. "And it does take time for it to work."

"How much time?" Daniel asked with a frown.

The man waved his hand in an arching motion.

"Daniel?" Janet gave him a questioning look.

"They can treat the bite," he explained, "but the remedy takes time to work."

"How much time?" she asked.

"Well, it's either a day or as long as it takes."

"Daniel, I don't like the idea of using untested meds," Janet said with a frown.

Daniel turned to the men, "What happens if he is not treated?"

The older man frowned while deciphering Daniel's question. "He must be treated as soon as possible or the effect will linger for much longer and eventually the brain will be damaged."

"He needs it, badly," Daniel told Janet. "As fast as we can get him to it."

"Daniel..."

"I know," he said, holding up a hand.

"I'll go back to the 'gate and report to the General," Janet said with a sigh.

"Shall we bring you all to our village?"

Daniel turned to the four men. "How far is it?"

"An hour by foot," was the answer.

Daniel related it to Janet, who graciously agreed to let one of the men accompany her to the 'gate to then show her the way to the village afterwards.

"Teal'c, we're taking Jack to the village," Daniel said. Turning to Jack, he sighed. "If you promise to behave yourself, I'll ask Teal'c to let go of you."

Jack nodded as much as he could with Teal'c still holding him and covering his mouth. Teal'c let go of him and the moment he opened his mouth to say something, Daniel held up his hand to stop him.

Jack pouted, but wisely kept his mouth shut.

"This way," their guide called, setting off toward a path through the trees.

Daniel turned to follow but stopped for a moment as he felt a hand slip into his. Startled he looked at the hand and followed it up to meet a pair of soft brown eyes.

"Hiiiiiiii," Jack breathed, giving Daniel a completely besotted look.

Daniel rolled his eyes. "Oh, brother," he muttered.

"Noooo, that'd be gross," Jack grinned and winked at Daniel before tugging him along after their hosts.



"Daniel?"

Turning as much as Jack's grip on his hand allowed him, Daniel watched Janet catch up with them, her native guide joining his three friends.

"Nuh-uh," Jack grunted and made sure he ended up walking between Daniel and Janet.

"Colonel?" she asked slightly puzzled.

"You can stick your nine inch needles in me, but you ain't getting Daniel."

Daniel groaned. Christ, Jack could be overprotective on most days, but this was ridiculous. "Jack, don't anger Janet. She's the one doing our physicals," he tried warning his friend.

Jack sniffed and looked miffed. "I'm just saying, I'm your CO, I get dibs."

Janet's eyes widened.

"Hell, I'm your friend, that should get me certain privileges," Jack said, suddenly grinning and leering at Daniel.

"Oh yeah, good thing we didn't take him back to the SGC like this," Janet sighed. "He'd be court-martialed."

"They just don't understand what this is," Jack said, waving with his free hand.

"What is it 'they' don't understand?" Daniel asked, fearing the answer.

"They don't see that this is true luuuurveeee," Jack crooned.

"Eh... Jack. In case it's escaped your attention, we're both guys, and we've both been married, we're both straight," Daniel said, wondering how far his little white lie would get him.

"Ooooooh, I get it," Jack said, overly serious. "Wink, wink, nudge, nudge. I get it, Danny. Let 'em think we're not an item." He nodded enthusiastically as he tugged Daniel along. "You always were the smart one."

Daniel groaned and shot a despairing look at Janet, who held up her hands, very obviously signaling 'Don't look at me, he's your problem now.'

The trip to the village was... a lesson in humility. Daniel had to, continuously, pry Jack's hands off various intimate places on his body. The worst moment had been when Jack had inquired whether or not Daniel's nipples were sensitive. Promptly following the question with a little research of his own.

That had cost Daniel two buttons and whatever remained of his dignity. The SGC was going to owe him for this. Big time.

Their guides did not seem to make much fuss about Jack's behavior, but then again, of course they had seen the results of similar bites before. As they drew nearer the village, a scout met them. The oldest of their hosts, who had introduced himself as Kernash, sent the scout ahead to the village to prepare the antidote for their guests.

Daniel was grateful. The sooner he got his old Jack back, the better. Suuuure, he had imagined getting ...intimate with Jack, just not this way.

Kernash lead them toward a low, reddish building at the edge of the village. Daniel would have loved to concentrate on the various cultural influences in the architecture, but unfortunately, that was not possible.

"Jack," Daniel grunted as he pulled Jack's hand out of the waistband of his pants. "For the last time, cut it out!"

"Can't cut it out, it'll come right back," Jack grinned with a terribly mangled accent.

"Please, step this way," Kernash said, leading them into the house. Inside, an older woman in a green dress was mixing something in a jar. Holding it up, she eyed Jack.

"Drink this," she said. The gesture was clear enough even for Jack to understand

Jack pulled a face as the smell hit his nostrils. "Don't wanna," he whined.

Daniel couldn't really blame him. It smelled terrible. Then again... "It's for your own good."

"No," Jack said, looking and sounding more stubborn than a five-year-old.

"O'Neill," Teal'c warned. The Jaffa seemed to have regained his calm. He wasn't the one who had had to endure Jack's amorous advances during the walk.

"Look, Colonel," Janet tried. "I'd be the first to say no to local meds, but in this case, I do believe these people know better."

"I don't wanna drink that," Jack muttered, squeezing Daniel's hand tightly.

"You need to, Jack." Daniel tugged at Jack's hand to get his attention. "I don't want you to hurt yourself. You can't stay this way. Kernash said you should drink it as soon as possible. It will take time to work."

Jack didn't answer, just looked down and shuffled his feet.

Daniel decided it was time to bring out the big guns. "Do it for me, Jack?"

Pleading brown eyes met his, but Daniel forced himself to give Jack his most sincere face. He had to. If Jack didn't drink it, his brain wouldn't survive for much longer.

"Okay," Jack finally agreed, voice low and barely audible. "On one condition."

Daniel wondered if he should dread the answer, but he did ask. "And that would be?"

"Stay with me?"

Oh man... how could he say no, with the way Jack was looking at him, all imploringly. Daniel figured it was the way a puppy on its way to the vet to be neutered might look.

"Okay, Jack. Drink it, and I'll stay until it's over, okay?"

"'kay," Jack agreed meekly.

"Perhaps I should stay to monitor you, Colonel," Janet said.

"Nuh-uh," Jack said, his stubbornness returning fully. "Don't want anyone here but Daniel."

"Sir..." Janet said, giving him a stern look.

"Come on," Jack wheedled. "Daniel will be here, he can get you if we need it."

Janet sighed deeply. Daniel didn't envy her. She had her vows and her obligations. "It's okay, Janet. I'll get you it doesn't work the way it should. Besides, we'll stay in this room and you'll be right next door."

Teal'c leaned close to Jack, giving him a penetrating glare. "You will behave yourself, O'Neill, and cause DanielJackson no trouble."

Jack's eyes were wide as he nodded, nearly cross-eyed as he tried to look into Teal'c's eyes. "Yeahsureyebetcha," Jack rattled off, nowhere near the sing-song intonation it normally had.

"Daniel, call me in the moment anything goes wrong," Janet told Daniel.

"I will, Janet. Besides, I'm sure Jack will behave himself," The last was said with a raised eyebrow in Jack's direction.

"Yeah, I'm tired, I'll just... lie down," Jack said, his voice far too innocent for Daniel's liking. Still, as long as Jack sat down on the bed at the far end of the room, stayed put, he wasn't going to complain.

"Very well," Janet conceded, gesturing at the concoction the old woman was still holding. "Drink up, Colonel, and I'll check in on you every hour." As Jack looked as if he'd argue, she held up a hand. "Don't argue with me, Colonel."

"Yes ma'am," Jack said, taking the cup and drinking it down, not looking as if he was enjoying it.

Daniel shook his head and turned to Kernash. A few questions and he could relay to Janet that once the drink took effect, Jack would lose steam, and eventually sleep it off. He then arranged to have a room for Janet and Teal'c across the hallway, then steeled himself for the duration of the wait.

"Daaaaniel."

Daniel closed his eyes and sighed deeply before turning around. He found Jack sprawling back on the bed, looking like an invitation to sin.

Dear God, what had he gotten himself into?

"I drank the stuff, and quite frankly, Dannyboy, it tasted like shit. Don't I get a reward"

"No..." Daniel shook his head and sat down on a chair.

"Oh man." Jack fell back on the bed, closing his eyes. "You're no fun," he muttered.

"Jack... when you... well, when you sober up, you'd hate yourself and possibly me if I were to indulge in any of your... suggestions." Daniel leaned on the table next to him, burying his face in the palms of his hands after putting his glasses down.

A moment later, warm hands moved over his neck and shoulders and Daniel let out an involuntary groan. "Jaaaack."

"'m not doing anything," Jack muttered.

Another groan escaped Daniel, as strong fingers dug into his neck, loosening tense muscles. "Jack..."

"Shhh. Just let me do this..."

The steady kneading lulled Daniel into a state of relaxation, his awareness of the room around them taking a definite backseat. At least until Jack's touch strayed to the front of his shirt, dipping under the collar of his t-shirt.

"Jack!"

Jack nearly draped himself over Daniel's back, nuzzling the back of his neck, his hair... pretty much anything he could get close enough to. His hands slipped from the collar of Daniel's t-shirt, down over his chest.

"Jack, please!" Daniel tried to calm his racing pulse. Without too much success. Having Jack groping him like this was really hard to fight.

For a moment, the heavy slump pushed him forward, then Jack let go and stepped back. "You're sure?"

Daniel got up from the seat, deciding that putting some space between them was not the worst idea. "I'm sure," Daniel said, wincing because he figured that Jack could hear his less than convincing tone of voice.

"Daniel..." Jack seemed to have lost some of his hyper behavior. The soft brown eyes were no longer as maniacally bright as they had been earlier. A few tentative, if wobbly, steps and Jack came to a swaying halt in front of Daniel.

"Can I ask you something?" Jack asked, trying to stand still, not exactly succeeding. The constant swaying was making Daniel nauseous and he tried to stop swaying along with it.

"Go ahead," Daniel said with a sigh. It was not as if he could just stuff a sock in Jack's mouth, even if he did want to.

"If I weren't... inab... inbre...,"

"Acting drunk off you ass?" Daniel asked helpfully.

"'sat it," Jack agreed. "If I weren't acting drunk as a skunk, would you let me kiss you?"

Daniel blinked a couple of times, trying to make sense of that question. "Jack...," he began.

"Seriously, Daniel. Give me the truth." Jack's pleading eyes put Daniel in a rather awkward situation. He did not want to tell Jack the truth, yet he could not lie to the man.

"I, eh..." Daniel began, shivering a little when Jack reached up, tentatively cupping his cheek. Or rather, Jack tried, knocking Daniel's glasses askew in the process.

A knock at the door sobered him in no time. "Jack...," he warned as he took a step back, righted his glasses, then went to open the door.

"How's he doing?" Janet asked, giving him a worried look.

"He's... doing better," Daniel said, torn between being thankful that Janet had interrupted them and annoyed that she had.

Daniel opened the door further and turned to look at Jack, who had somehow made it back to the bed, sitting on the foot-end of it.

Jack looked up, blinking rapidly a few times. "I don't think I feel so good," he muttered. "I think I'm about to crash."

"Kernash said this would happen," Daniel said and Janet nodded as she went to Jack's side, checking his pulse and his pupils. It said a lot about Jack's impending crash, because he hardly muttered any obscenities about Janet's penlight.

"Let's get him into bed," Janet agreed as Jack swayed again. Daniel went to her side and helped her get Jack to his feet, maneuvering him around the bed and under the blankets.

Damn, he had never thought Jack could weigh that much. Having the man hanging limp like a boiled noodle, plastered against the side of Daniel's body... well, he weighed a lot more than Daniel would have guessed at.

Daniel stood back and watched his sleeping CO. "Where's Teal'c?" he asked Janet softly, though he doubted there was any risk of waking Jack, who was snoring loud enough to bring the roof down around their ears.

"He's kelnoreem'ing in his room," Janet told him with a small smile. "I do think the he was down to one nerve, and the Colonel was dancing a jig on it."

Daniel had to smile at that. "I believe you're right." Daniel sobered up a little. "Jack gonna be okay?"

"Well, according to your new friends, he just needs to sleep it off," Janet said with a shrug. "I'm not saying that he isn't getting a full physical when we get home, but for now we'll do as they say, and let him sleep it off."

Daniel winced. A full physical. He could just hear Jack's very vocal reaction to that.

"Are you staying in here?" Janet asked. "Or do you want me to keep an eye on him?"

"Nah... go ahead and get some rest, Janet. I'll stay here and if anything happens, I'll come get you," Daniel promised.

"We could take him back through the 'gate," Janet began.

"Do you want to go ask Teal'c to help carry him back?" Daniel asked with a small smirk.

Janet raised an eyebrow, opened her mouth to answer, then snapped it shut again. "Never mind. You let me know if anything happens and if you need a change of guard sometime tonight, just come get me, okay?"

Daniel nodded and gave her a tight smile as she left and closed the door behind her.

He sat down on the side of the bed, watching Jack sleep the sleep of the innocent. He never had answered Jack's question, and perhaps it was best that way. No risk of Jack remembering his answer the next day.

Daniel took his glasses off, pinched the bridge of his nose and realized that it was probably late night or early morning back on Earth. Yawning, he put his glasses down on the bedside table. He wrestled Jack's boots off, dumping them on the floor. Then did the same with his own. There was plenty of room on the bed, so he turned around, sat down with his back against the wall, watching his sleeping friend.

Time ticked by and one yawn took the next. He should sleep. He really should. It took very little to get from thought to action, and he slid down on the bed, next to the sleeping form of Jack.

"Won't get any dumb ideas if I stay above the blankets," Daniel muttered to himself. "Just a little nap..."


Daniel swiped at the ticking sensation at his temple. He was having this great dream, where he was all tangled up in a warm embrace, nice, cozy and warm. He really did not want to wake from that one.

Another tickling sensation along his hairline, up along his ear and Daniel finally woke enough to effectively swipe at it.

"Hey," said a gravely voice, softened more than a little with a chuckle. "Janet's gonna have your ass if you beat me up. And she can't."

"She can't what?" Daniel asked groggily, still not sure if he was awake or not.

"Well, if I remember it right, I told you I got dibs on it... at least I think I said that."

Daniel forced his eyes open, trying to focus on the laughing face a few inches from his own. Okay... morning breath was morning breath, but his own probably wasn't any better...

"You're way too fucking cheery for a guy who should have a hangover," Daniel grumbled as he twisted, wondering how he could get out of the blankets he had gotten tangled in. Then he realized that blankets were not the only thing he was wrapped up in.

"Um... Jack?"

"Yeah?" Jack ran another finger down along his temple, but this time Daniel was too stunned to react to it. At least with anything other than a light shiver.

"You... we... we're..." Daniel searched for the right word.

"Cuddling," Jack finished for him. "And for the SGC's head linguist, you're doing a pretty poor job speaking plain English," he teased, the brown eyes sparkling.

"We're... cuddling," Daniel finished. "I'm sorry, I'm not sure I'm awake enough to get the concept of that." Not that he was about to fight the hold Jack had on him.

"Okay, let me help you with the language thing," Jack said with a theatrical sigh. "To cuddle: you, me, big, comfy bed. I've got my arms around you." Jack tightened his hold on Daniel. "You could put your arms around me, though I must admit I like your hand where it currently is," Jack ended his lecture with a leer.

Daniel blinked, feeling more than a little disoriented, until he realized that his left hand was cupping a rather enticing piece of Jack's ass... under the blanket. And judging from the texture and movement under his hand, Jack was not wearing anything more than his boxers.

Actually, he was not wearing anything more than his own boxers either. "Eh... Jack?" Daniel asked tentatively as he tried to look down himself.

"I woke up a few hours ago, you looked so cute, drooling on my uniform, so I figured I'd save us the wet clothes and got us undressed."

"I'm impressed," Daniel said dryly. "You actually let me keep my boxers." He was still reluctant about removing his hand from Jack's ass. Besides, Jack had said he liked it there and he no longer seemed to be under the influence.

"Hey... I'm a gentleman," Jack said with a sniff, only slightly ruining it with the lick to his lower lip.

Daniel focused on the tongue, helplessly mirroring the move.

"I got morning breath, you got morning breath," Jack muttered, his eyes drawn to Daniel's mouth.

"Uh-huh," Daniel agreed, unconsciously leaning closer to Jack.

"Don't think we'll notice..." Jack muttered as his eyes drifted shut.

"Jack...?" Daniel halted his advance, their lips less than an inch apart.

"Mmmm?" Jack seemed to fight his eyes open again.

"Shut up," Daniel grinned. "And if you regret this afterwards, I'm kicking your ass all the way back to the 'gate."

"Oooh," Jack grinned. "I can think of far better things to do with my..." The rest of his sentence was lost as Daniel finally pushed him down on the mattress, sealing their mouths together.

"Yuck," he muttered when they parted. "We really need to do something about that morning breath."

"Later," Jack muttered as he rolled them around again, until Daniel was on his back and Jack's whole body was pressing him into the mattress. "And why the hell would I have any regrets about this?" he asked, giving Daniel a puzzled look. "I'm right where I wanna be."

"And that is where?" Daniel asked, trying to cope with the directness. If he had known that Jack was... amendable concerning this, he would damned well have jumped the man ages ago.

"Why, Daniel, you dog. Right on top of you, of course," Jack said with a glint to his eyes as he lazily thrust down against Daniel.

"Ooooh," Daniel moaned and closed his eyes. Stupid question.

"Now," Jack began, only to be interrupted by a knock on the door.

"Daniel, Colonel?"

"Oh shit," they said in unison.

"If Janet finds us like this..." Jack began.

"We could be in so much trouble," Daniel agreed.

"Yeah, she's been on my ass for the past few months, wanting to know when the hell I was going to actually make a move on you," Jack muttered darkly.

"What?!"

Jack gave him a panicked look. "If she finds up like this, we'll never hear the end of it."

Daniel rolled off Jack and hit the bed with an 'oomph'. Pulling the blankets up to cover himself, he put a hand over his eyes. Whatever the hell had happened to don't ask, don't tell?

The End