Helpyourselfish

Pairing: Malcolm Reynolds/Jayne Cobb
 
Category: Humor, smut, rough sex
 
Rating: R
 
Summary: A capt'n has to have a good sense of foresight.
 
Notes: This is merely crack-fic -- I felt the urge to let the guys have a little fun, and look where it got us. The title's a song by DAD, and I mean no copyright infringement, the title simply fit so gorram well.
 
Notes the 2nd: As always, the Chinese parts are coded, hover your mouse over them and you get the translation.
 
Thanks to: Mary and Modgey for the beta and to Nicci_mac for audiencing this little piece of crack-fic *g*

"We need to get planet side soon," Zoë said dryly. "And not just cuz we need supplies 'n' fuel," she added.

Mal grunted. He hated these long jobs -- it'd be good to get out for a breath of fresh air every now and then. He followed Zoë's line of sight and nodded. To most people the sight of Jayne Cobb sitting still wouldn't ring any alarm bells. Unfortunately, Mal knew him. A quiet, still Jayne was a worryin' thing. Far more so than a loud obnoxious one.

"Gon' be at least another week before we reach our destination," Mal muttered.

"Not sure Jayne has that kind of patience," Zoë mumbled. "He won't even take part in the ball games."

Mal like the rest of them played ball to get rid of some pent up energy. It had been a week since Jayne had taken part. Now the big man just sat there, eyes following everyone.

"Wash!" Mal suddenly hollered.

The blonde head popped up from behind the mule. "You called, oh mighty one?"

"How does a round of ball sound?" Mal asked. He had a half-formed plan, but he'd need a little assistance.

"Sounds like music to my ears," Wash grinned.

"You are tone deaf, dear husband," Zoë reminded him with a small grin.

"That I am, wife, that I am," Wash agreed evenly.

Mal looked up and caught sight of Kaylee and River on the walkway. "You girls wanna join?" he asked. He hadn't missed River's longing look the last time they'd played.

"You bet, Capt'n," Kaylee answered cheerfully and the quick nod and grin from River told him that she would be joining them as well. Zoë was already bouncing the ball, the echo of it hitting the metal ground rang through Serenity's cargo hold.

"Jayne, come play," Mal said as he caught the ball that Zoë suddenly threw at him. Gorram woman was fast.

"Nah, I'm gon' sit this one out," Jayne said quietly.

"You said that the last time too," Mal argued. "You need to blow some steam too."

Jayne's eyes seemed dark when he got to his feet, slowly. "You sure you want me blowin' steam? Might have us some casualties."

Mal cocked his head to the side. "We got a doctor aboard now, Jayne."

"One that would very much prefer to not treat injuries unless it's necessary." Simon's voice drifted down from above. "Especially since my sister is participating."

Mal grinned. "She can take care of herself, Doc. Give her some credit."

River almost danced past him with a strange smile on her face and Mal shook his head. For all he knew, she could kick their asses without raising a sweat.

"I'll take Wash and River," Mal said, raising an eyebrow at Zoë. She nodded.

The game was... ruthless and Mal knew his muscles would be taking their revenge the next day. It was surprisingly even as they slammed into each other at random, sweat staining their shirts. Mal worked twice as hard because he had to keep an eye on Jayne all the time.

Unfortunately it didn't look like it was doing Jayne any good. If anything the eyes seemed impossibly darker, the mouth a little more twisted. Mal felt his own body give a little when they collided as he tried to get the ball from Jayne. There was a strange wildness to Jayne's moves. Like he was a wild animal, barely under control.

It was a small consolation that Jayne did seem to be holding back when he was up against River, but Wash and Mal himself were in no way spared. Mal figured his bruises would have bruises.

As the game went on, Mal realized he'd have to find another way of getting to Jayne, because this little game seemed to have the opposite effect. Eventually he called a halt to the game.

"Let's leave this off while we're all still standing," he panted eventually, halting the game. Turning his head to the side he found River watching him with a peculiar look. Then she nodded and as she passed him, she patted him reassuringly on the shoulder.

Mal shook his head. Even if he grew to be a hundred years old, he'd never understand that girl.

"I need a change of clothes," Wash said tiredly, sweat darkening his shirt and hairline.

"You are not the only one," Zoë agreed. She gave Mal a penetrating look, then dragged Wash off.

Smart woman. Mal knew there was a reason she was his first mate.

Kaylee grinned as she walked by. "We nearly had you there, Capt'n," she said. "Come on, River," she called over her shoulder. "Let's get changed."

Mal looked up to find the walkway deserted. Simon had pretty much drifted off when he realized his little sister was in no danger. Turning around, he found Jayne standing in the middle of the cargo hold, arms hanging down along his sides, chest rising and falling with each breath. Sweat beaded his bare arms and face.

"It didn't work none too well, did it?" Mal asked as he circled Jayne.

Jayne didn't turn with him, but Mal knew from the set of the shoulders and the balanced stance that Jayne would be ready for whatever he could throw at him.

"Now, normally you're not the tense kinda guy," Mal mused as he kept walking, slowly. "You normally don't need much in the way of blowing steam, 'cept normally you go out, find a whore or a bar brawl -- or both -- and come back fine."

Jayne turned his head a fraction.

"We've had these trips before, long periods of time and I've never seen you this tense before," Mal mused. "Question is what's gotten into ya this time around."

"Ain't nothin' gotten into me, Mal," Jayne said, his voice oddly tired.

Mal frowned a little. "You're angry," he said. More a statement than a question. "You never relax your guard."

Jayne stood perfectly still and Mal wondered if it might blow up in his face, but since he'd already launched his plan, he might as well go through with it. Zoë always did say he was a stubborn mule.

Problem was; Mal weren't none too sure he'd get out of it without some serious injuries.

"You need a fist fight?" Mal asked softly. "Only whore we got aboard is 'Nara, and she don't service the crew."

"Don't wan' her," Jayne said in a low voice.

"You want a tussle, Jayne?" Mal asked as he came to stand in front of Jayne.

Jayne didn't answer, but he did look up and Mal wasn't sure what to do with that strange look.

Mal moved fast.

Jayne moved faster.

Mal's fist hit nothing but thin air. Jayne's hit Mal's mid-section, knocking most of his breath from his lungs. Staggering backwards, Mal looked at Jayne who was back to his stance, warily watching Mal.

"You know what you're doing?" Jayne asked quietly.

Mal didn't answer. He felt a strange heat burning inside of him, something that flowed through his limbs. Moving, he attacked Jayne again.

This time, as if he had been waiting for Mal to confirm that they were doing what they were doing, Jayne didn't stop with the one hit.

Before he knew it, Mal was on his knees, trying to pull air into his lungs. His lower lip stung like hell and the metallic taste of blood filled his mouth. The fire burned a little hotter within him and he wondered if it was what Jayne had been feeling. Like a little touch of madness.

Jayne didn't bother with words anymore, and Mal had barely gotten to his feet before the heavy bulk hit him. They rolled about on the cold, hard metal floor of the cargo hold, and Mal didn't care. All his mind was filled with was the heat within himself, the smell of sweat, the taste of his own blood...

Mal wasn't a bad fighter, but when it came to raw strength, he was no match for Jayne.

Panting hard, Mal yielded. Jayne had him pinned to the floor anyway, straddling him, keeping Mal's arms pinned over his head.

"Is this what you planned?" Jayne whispered harshly, eyes darker than starless space.

"Don't rightly remember," Mal muttered, trying not to arch up, trying not to get the pressure where his body so desperately wanted it.

Jayne closed his eyes for a moment, his hold on Mal loosening a little. Mal didn't try to get free, though. There was no reason to do so.

"Mal...," Jayne's voice trailed off when he opened his eyes again. "I don't want..." Jayne bit his lower lip. "I don't want to want..." Jayne looked as if it was painful even getting those words out.

"You don't want to want me," Mal said with a nod, not recognizing his own husky voice.

"I don't want to want anyone like this," Jayne admitted, his eyes wide. "I can't..."

"You think you'd be giving me even more power over you," Mal guessed.

Jayne's shoulders sagged a little.

"And what about me?" Mal asked, finally giving into the urge to arch his body a little, getting some pressure where it was needed.

A shudder ran through Jayne's body.

"Doesn't this give you a certain power over me?" Mal asked quietly.

Jayne didn't answer, but the look in his eyes changed to something that really greased Mal's engine. Breathing harshly, Jayne leaned down over Mal, licking along the corner of Mal's mouth, tasting the trickle of blood that Mal could feel escaping.

Finally, Jayne let go of his wrists. Not that Mal could do much, because Jayne was already moving way ahead of him. Mal's suspenders were pulled down from his shoulders, the shirt was pushed up, roughly, and his pants were nearly torn open.

"Slow down," Mal gasped, but Jayne seemed to be working his own angle and a moment later, with a lot of twisting, they were crudely skin to skin. No time to get nekkid, no time to get specific about the wheres or hows.

Not that Mal gave a fuck.

Jayne's skin was sticky with sweat and hot as Serenity's engine when running on overload. Mal let his head fall back. He could let Jayne control this for the time being. He was doing such a good job, so why spoil it?

Mal dug his fingers into Jayne's backside, feeling the tight muscles flex under his grip as Jayne thrust against him. Mal's own cock slid along the grip of Jayne's hip, much like Jayne's did against Mal's. The friction was incredible and Mal was torn between wanting it to end because it was too good, and wanting it to go on forever.

"I hate you," Jayne growled into his ear.

Mal felt laughter bubble up inside of him. There was no vehemence, no malice behind Jayne's broken words.

"I hate you more," Mal retorted.

Jayne was obviously trying to push him through the metal floor with his loss of control. Then he buried his face against Mal's shoulder.

"Ow, ruttin' hwoon-dan," Mal swore as Jayne bit into his shoulder, through the shirt.

Jayne didn't answer, but his body shook on top of Mal's and warm, sticky heat spread against Mal's groin. Mal thrust harder upward. He wasn't sure he could trust Jayne to take care of him now that the other man had found his own release.

Thankfully it didn't take much more than a few more thrusts, and Mal moaned as his orgasm hit.

"You piece of calculating shit," Jayne muttered tiredly into his ear.

"I never planned more than the game and the fistfight," Mal defended himself. "And will you get off me, you big log? You're heavy as hell."

Jayne rolled off him and Mal shivered as the air hit his sweaty skin.

Mal closed his eyes and listened to Jayne breathing. He heard him get to his feet as well.

"I take it that's the last time you'll be helping me blow off steam," Jayne grunted from somewhere above Mal.

Mal just grinned. He heard Jayne's footsteps as he walked away.

"Nah," he said lightly. Mal heard the footsteps stop. "Just remind me to choose a better setting than the cargo hold," he continued with a wry grin. "The floor's way too hard and cold."

For a moment, Jayne was silent. "You best get dressed," he said gruffly. "Ain't exactly the most private of places, neither."

Mal stretched and sat up, opening his eyes. He found Jayne watching him with a more recognizable look to his eyes. "I figure the entire crew knows what we've just done anyway," Mal yawned.

Jayne just shook his head and turned to walk away. "Tah mah duh hwoon dahn," Jayne muttered under his breath.

Mal just grinned. He sure as hell weren't offering any of the others that kinda relaxation. He'd just have to keep an eye on Jayne now. Who knew when he might need a little help again? Wouldn't do to wait until Jayne got himself worked up too much. Regulating the pressure in smaller instances.

Mal kinda liked that idea and smiled as he closed his eyes for a moment. A good capt'n had to have a good sense of foresight, didn' he?

The End