Summary: When you don't want to want what you want... (Mal/Jayne with a dash of Mal/Jayne/Simon UST)
Thanks to: Nicci for her constant 'I do not NEED another fandom' litany and for supplying the title. She's so darned easy *eg*
Simon isn't sure he likes the way Jayne watches their captain. Especially after one of their close brushes with death or maiming, which occurs too often for Simon's liking.
There's a certain hunger in their looks. One that scorches Simon's dreams.
Where Simon's from, it's... well, not illegal, but it's frowned upon. Simon shifts uneasily in his seat and tries not to think about it, as he eats his dinner. He knows, deep inside, that it's not the fact that two men... relieve some tension together, that is upsetting him. No... Simon won't let himself think about tracing the scars he's seen on Mal's body, won't let himself wonder if they taste differently from the rest of his skin...
Simon looks up and catches Jayne watching him. It sends another shiver through his body, part fear, part... something he doesn't want to think about.
He knows the captain by now, well, he thinks he's figured him out. Although Mal still manages to surprise him again and again. In reality, Simon realizes, he knows nothing about the man behind the captain's mask.
Jayne? What Simon has learned, is that the mercenary is unpredictable at best, insane at worst. Simon doesn't like how the looks Jayne is giving him, have turned from contempt and annoyance to... something else. Appreciative, in a way that makes him run hot and cold. The smirk doesn't help either.
Mal draws him, as does Jayne. Mal's strong with a strange sense of honor. Jayne's... wild and unpredictable.
Simon tears his eyes away, finding he has Mal's attention as well. A smile so short, Simon's not even sure it's there, a small quirk of the lips.
No one else at the table seems to notice and Simon forces his attention back to his meal. He will not see, will not react, to either of them. He is aboard Serenity to protect his sister and while they are aboard, he acts as the ship's doctor. Nothing more, nothing less.
Still, he's not stupid enough to not know, that it might not entirely be up to him in the end. Some day he might eventually give off the 'wrong' signal and all bets will be off.
He isn't even sure if he'd have the courage and faith to bet on himself. He'd most probably lose...
Simon puts his fork down, but for a little while he refuses to look up. He's not sure he's strong enough for another one of those looks.
Mal's flicker of a smile or Jayne's knowing eyes. Doesn't matter, either of them will be his undoing, eventually.
"You know, we could always tell the kid it's one of them initiation things..." Jayne offers as he lies back on the bed, stretching like a big, contented tomcat.
Mal shoots him an amused look. "The Doc ain't that dumb. Although he has been falling for all your pranks so far..." Mal thinks about it for a moment. "Although he got you back by doping you up..." Mal's grin grows wider. "According to Wash that was quite entertaining."
Jayne scowls for a moment, then rolls his eyes. "I gotta hand it to him, I wouldn't have thought he'd have balls enough to pull that one."
"He's a fast learner," Mal says with a shrug as he drops the rest of his clothes on the chair. He hopes the doc will keep learning, anyway. Jayne's not harmless, far from it. "Then again, if you go with the initiation, he might ask Wash about it."
Jayne yawns and folds his hands behind his head. "You think we should do the same to Wash?"
Mal snorts and kicks Jayne off one half of the bed before dropping onto it. "You wanna suggest that with Zoe around?" he asks with a grin. It might be fun to see the outcome, and Jayne never has shown much sense for situations where he would have been better off keeping his mouth shut.
Jayne closes his eyes and grins. "Ye got a point there. Guess it's back to the drawing board, then."
Mal shakes his head and rolls on top Jayne. He's fairly sure that the kid is... amenable -- to him, at least. But Simon needs to learn not to trust everything Jayne throws at him, and sometimes it's better to learn by practice, rather than theory.