Well, I originally wanted to write the deleted scene I kept talking about. You know the one. Clark goes over to Lex's house post Dichotic and you know, has the hot sex. Sadly, this didn't turn out to be it. My Clark muse went in a completely different direction and well, a lot of that last scene between Clark and Chloe and Lana (that everyone seems to hate but I think joyfulgirl41 did a good job of explaining the things I liked about the scene), I like to think it's about growing up and deciding what you want. At least that's how my Clark thinks of it.
 
It's post-Dichotic fic it's spoilers up to then. ilexa was much with the love yesterday night when I frantically searched for her online with the request, tell me if this if off the good to post. She told me it was. So if you don't like it, blame her. *g* And ximeria who told me today if I didn't get her with the happy soon she'd stop writing happy herself. I promptly agreed I would attempt to find the happy for her. As it is, there might be a sequel.

She was sitting on the couch, sipping a glass of wine. Wagner played in the background. His first thought had been that something was wrong with his father and she'd come to talk to Lex about it, but he shook it off immediately. If something had been wrong with his father, she would have come to them first, not Lex. And besides, she wasn't dressed like she was on a professional visit.

The realization was strange. He tried to figure out why. It wasn't like he'd never met one of Lex's dates before. Every so often, he'd be seen in town, sporting some beautiful girl on his arm. They always looked out of place in Smallville, in many ways marking Lex even more an outsider in the eyes of the town's populace.

She didn't.

Dr. Bryce looked entirely too much like she fit here. Fit in Smallville. Fit on Lex's couch, sipping a glass of white wine in a light green dress, and twirling a dark curl on one finger.

Fit in Lex's life.

"Clark Kent?" She looked up, surprise obvious in her features. Damn, how long had he been standing in the doorway staring at her anyway?

"Dr. Bryce." He greeted her, pretending this was not at all awkward. "I'm sorry; I didn't realize that Lex had company."

"We just had dinner." She replied. "I'm sorry, was he expecting you?"

"No, I just dropped in. Obviously I should have called." He shuffled his feet, smiling self-deprecatingly. "I should go."

"Oh, stay please! Lex should be back any minute. He just went to take a phone call."

"No, I don't want to interuppt--"

"Oh don't be silly. Come on sit." She patted a spot on the couch congenially, playing the role of hostess effortlessly. For some reason, this irritated Clark, the fact that she was treating him like the guest in Lex's home. He *wasn't* a guest. He'd been here a thousand times more than she ever had. Had an open invite and a space in the gate where he slipped in easily. Even the help didn't bat an eyelash anymore when he arrived. Simply allowed him to wander the halls until he found Lex.

And now with her treating him like it, he felt very much like a guest in Lex's home.

It was an unsettling feeling. An awareness of just how much he'd come to expect his place in Lex's life and how easily that spot could be usurped. Even with Lex's other dates, with Victoria, he'd never felt this way. Hell, even with Desiree and her mind whammy marriage, he'd known that something was wrong and it was his job to fix it for Lex. It wasn't like that now.

For one, he liked Dr. Bryce. From the brief time he'd dealt with her at the hospital, she seemed genuinely warm and caring towards her patients. She was witty, making jokes that even had his father grinning despite the fracture. And she was pretty. If Clark had to choose a girl for Lex, he'd have wanted someone like her.

Now he had this overwhelming urge to toss her outside the door.

"So, Clark, how's your dad?"

"He's doing fine. Grumbles about having to take it easy."

"I’m sure," she smiled. She had a nice smile. "He didn't strike me as a man who liked being dependent on others."

"Yeah, that's definitely not my dad." Clark grinned back. She was very comfortable to talk to. Probably smart too. You had to be smart to be a doctor.

The more he thought about it, the more perfect she seemed. And the more she annoyed him.

Lex hadn't mentioned being interested in her. Granted, Clark had been busy the past few days and hadn't had much time to spend with Lex. The last time he'd really seen Lex was the day at the hospital. Lex had come over to the house later on, and stayed for dinner. But Clark had been too preoccupied by the whole Ian situation to really talk to Lex.

The whole deal with Ian had brought up many reoccurring conflicts in Clark's head. Again he's been faced with the reality that if he didn't act, both Chloe and Lana would eventually move on. But what hit him more was the realization that what bothered him most about the whole situation was that Chloe and Lana didn't trust him. Regardless of what had happened between them, regardless of all his confusion over his feelings, he'd always been their friend first. Especially Chloe's.

In the beginning of May when he'd first realized Chloe's feelings for him, it had turned everything he knew upside down. For so long, Chloe had been his best friend, Lana Lang his crush. Suddenly he could have had the love of a really beautiful girl like Chloe and Lana Lang hinted that they could be more than just friends. And rather than be elated at either prospect, Clark had just felt even more confused and lonely. For a while, he'd thought it was just because he couldn't choose. Over the past few days, it had become clear. Regardless of what crushes and feelings he'd thought he had on either girl, it wasn't love. And it wasn't worth ruining two good friendships for.

His mother would have said it was a sign that he was growing up. He wasn't sure about it. He hadn't felt very much like a grown up over the past few days. And right now, sitting on the couch, making small talk with Lex's date, he felt more like a teenager than ever.

Like a teenager with a silly crush whose heart was about to be broken.

His feelings for Lex had always been too scary to examine. Clark wasn't dumb. He knew what Lex was offering in every one of those intense gazes, those moments where his hands lingered on Clark too long. And he'd been flattered. And frightened.

Lex had never been a teenager, not even when he was a teenager. Lex probably never had been confused by crushes and unrequited desire. Lex probably had gotten everything he'd ever gone after.

And yet with Clark, he'd been… shy, if that word could even be associated with Lex Luthor. For all the innuendo and hungry glances, he'd never pushed. The implication had always been clear. The offer was there, and it was up to Clark to make the move.

Clark hadn't. Wanting Lex was nothing like wanting Lana. Lana was sweet and light and simple. Lex was intense and hot and everything he dreamt about in the dark when the sheets ended up sticky. Nothing about Lex would ever be simple.

"Clark?" the voice at the doorway caused him to stand up and turn around. Lex leaned against the doorframe, looking slightly bemused. "What are you doing here?"

But Lex understood that Clark hadn't done anything about the attraction between them. Somewhere inside, Lex knew that it was something huge and important and that Clark had a lot of growing up to do before he figured out what he wanted. But see that had been the good thing. Because Lex had been willing to wait. When Clark was ready…

"Hi. I'm sorry to interrupt. I didn't realize you'd be busy. I should actually get going."

"Is everything okay?" Head cocked to the side, Lex's face was all momentary concern.

"Yeah, I'd just wanted to tell you that Chloe and Lana were safe. And that they solved Mr. Frankle's murder. But that can wait until later."

When Clark was ready, Lex would be there. Clark would be able to come over and tell him that he'd realized that Chloe and Lana and every other crush had been just that, a crush. That he'd been afraid to act on any of his feelings but he wasn't anymore. And despite all his doubts, he was now sure that Lex was all he would ever want.

"Alright."

When Clark was ready, Lex *would* be waiting for him.

"So I should get going."

"I'll see you tomorrow Clark."

It had never occurred to Clark that when he was ready, it could already have been too late.